K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
i just ate an entire onion plain. all alone. i have never felt more single in my life
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
I woke up with flowers, a tiara & pasta salad in my bed. Tequila makes me act like a fat Disney princess
Oh wow. I almost tweeted #TweetFromTheBackOfACopCarTuesday but I didn't think it was that appropriate
She looked up at the menu and yelled this is my absolute favorite literacy
No one should ever have to Neosporin their nipples. At least he apologized.
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
Being sober is no fun. Karaoke and not wearing pants are not socially acceptable things to do anymore and this depresses me.
I lost Mario kart three times but I got laid so it wasn't the WORST night I've ever had.
I’m going to lick a fucking door knob when this shit is all over
Probably Waffle House
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
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