the real housewives of new jersey finale is tonight. it makes me wish we had pot.
she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
I wasn't sure if "you're even prettier in the dark" was a compliment. Hmm.
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
he told me that my best friend was "one the most attractive people he's ever seen" and wondered why he didn't get a blow job
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
Did you ever stop and think that god invented whiskey dick specifically for me
Omg he's telling my parents stories about him doing jaagerbombs ... Lord help me
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
He put oyster crackers in his ramen noodles. Is that a thing? Because holy shit I had never thought of it before and if it's not a thing he's my new stoner hero for discovering it.
So I had sex with a hook nosed, lisping masadonian last night.
Glad that degree in literature is paying off. Nice adjectives. Maybe set the bar a little higher though?
I can't be a daydrinker without you. It just doesn't work.
I love you too.
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