There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
I woke up at 1pm, looked in the mirror and fist pumped...I might still be drunk
well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
You had sex with him even after he literally described himself as a "coldplay guy"? There's a line you just don't cross. There is a line.
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
it took me 7 solid minutes to realize "egggGSaucetingf" meant "exhausting"
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
I got propositioned while wearing the bottom half of a horse costume. It's like god is apologizing to me in the strangest of ways.
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
I've got a bottle of water, a bag of salad greens, and a bottle of hot sauce. How stoned do you think I am?
I legit just quacked out loud at a duck on campus. Realized after that there were people around me, they looked at me funny...
Randomize
