You might not want to sit on your couch. Actually you may want to throw it away. My bad.
We just got really drunk and bought toilet paper. Successful Monday.
So from the residue on my balls I think it was mashed potatoes she had in her mouth
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
I was just informed that I have the perfect belly button for body shots... Best compliment ever.
I know. But whatever I'll just eat cold pizza and play with my cats by candlelight
the evidence suggests last night I either took a bath in beer or drank 18 beers while in the bath. either one sounds good to me. sad i don't remember it
I don't know if apple cider everclear was such a good idea
I just ran your car into a ups truck....but on a up note I have a handle of fireball and breakfast burritos
all the one night stand stories i have end with me crying on my RA's floor stuffing cupcakes into my mouth
I never realized how weird our shower smells until I cracked a shower beer and had a familiar aroma to compare it to.
this is gentle reminder #1 not to forget to bring the vibrator when you come
Can't beat it when the local bar sends you off with a loaf of bread on the way out the door.
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
Never going back to jail again. Only time in my life I've ever had a wet dream about jerking it...
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