scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
and before you know it i was laying next to him at 2 in the morning with penis and sadness on my breath.
How did you steal an entire pie?
I don't know. It's in my purse.
Dude turns out her best friend is lesbian...there is no wingman for this situation
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
Penises. Penises everywhereeeeeeeee. Penis ratio is sooo disproportionate. I can't NOT get laid tonight.
Every time I roll over in bed I land on a different vibrator. I feel I'm the only one with this problem.
I found him in bed on a pullout couch with another dude. He had two empty puke buckets and his empty bottle of jagermeister right by his head.
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
I think my boss gives me work off weekends because he doesn't want me showing up hungover anymore..
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
Sorry. Not doing life today. Love to. But can't.
I threw up vodka and borscht. I'm done with life...I threw this up in a McDonald's bathroom btw.
I just woke up in the closet wearing nothing but a Santa hat.
He KNOWS ALL THE WORDS TO "JESUS IS MY FRIEND", I swear if he even tries to pull shit with me I'm becoming an actual nun.
Randomize
