You think if I promise to behave for the rest of my life, god will let me fuck her on the regular?
i gave him the "yep, i was your girfriend's collegiate lesbian sex story" head nod
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
Woke up with 3 sports bras for underwear. Valiant effort drunk me.
his dad came out and found me sleeping indian style on the couch with my cup balancing on my boobs. didn't spill a drop.
It's now 3:30 and the guy I went home with is showering me with shredded cheese. Nbd.
I like the odds of his and my children being professional athletes too. To support me in my old age, see I do think about the future.
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
Sometimes I really think that if... When your stoned you have a catlike ability to just relax in any position
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
Nothing will ever be as awkward as looking my mother in the eye and talking to her while I have a dick inside me. Time for a lock on my door.
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