Denmark girl wants me to go out but i remembered shes a raging whore with extremely questionable morals. Not feelin that tonight
We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
Hairspray is covering 85% of my body. Help.
Wait until you see the roof.
My family just legit passed around a fifth of Maker's Mark. Also, this is sort of a Thanksgiving tradition. Also, Maker's Mark is really good.
if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you.
Woke up with two cats staring at me. One covered in puke thats giving me a look that says it might be my fault. Where am I? Come get me.
I kind of drew a blank when the doctor asked me how I got super glue up my nose.
I am in his childhood bedroom and I feel like his trophies are applauding me and his stuffed bunny is disgusted with me. Did you know he was a mathlete?
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
I had so much stripper lotion and body glitter on my glasses I had a hard time driving home.
I STILL HAVE A HARD TIME DECIDING WHAT TO WEAR IN THE MORNING HOW WOULD IT BE POSSIBLE FOR ME TO PICK A PAIR OF PANTS AND GO OH ILL JUST WEAR THESE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
You go to class with the flu but don't go when it rains... Get your shit together
Well I thought I saw everything and then I saw Christmas themed poop bags at Petco.
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
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