So...we accidentally left a bag of puke in your sister's room. Heads up.
so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
i just got a fart via voicenote. blackberry has officially changed history.
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
Only I could do what I did last night and feel perfectly ok working around children the next day
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote.
I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now.
Just pulled a Kenny Powers on a snowmobile
Are you high?
The snorkel mask makes that pretty clear
I'm surprised I didn't lose anything last night. Except maybe my dignity but other than that we gucci.
Is there a particular reason why everyone is now calling you Butt Doctor?
It all started because he put my damn phone in his pants. By his crotch nonetheless.
If I was a guy I'd keep a condom in my pocket, in my wallet, in my backpack, in my car, in my shoe, behind my fucking ear
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
He told me he would make me come so hard I would throw up. I'm actually horrified that he thinks that's something any person would want
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