You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.
Remind me that when I'm pregnant, I should NOT post vaginal dilation updates on my facebook. Ever.
overheard a conversation between 2 lesbians: 'back when I used to have dick sex...' oh, vegas, I so heart you
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
I have dibs on his crisis of faith.
After the 3rd time his brother walked in on us I asked "Does he ever knock?" his reply "This is his room"... Turns out he didn't even live there... I feel like a hoe.
He ate a Doritos taco from my boobs. Does your boyfriend do that?
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
I feel like a bottle of fireball rented a bull dozer and ran me over until I was left without a shred of my dignity
We just saw two bitche in pink capris jazzercising down the road. On Thanksgiving.
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
Randomize
