My dad just sent me a text telling me to "say hi to all the luscious bitches" at the gay bar. Guess this explains my childhood
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
The trick is to not slur when purchasing the condoms at 3am
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
It's been decided..lingerie is an investment. You get free breakfast and cab rides out of it.
dude, I feel like I need to get my gf's roommate a gift. something that says, sorry you walked in on me getting blown. suggestions?
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
We were at dinner and dad asked me to pass the salt and I suddenly remembered doing body shots when I was blacked out last weekend.
What even was the context for that. All I have written down is "I would vote for President SnakeJaw."
This chick walked up to me in the bar and started making out with me, then grabbed my drink while I wasn't looking and walked off.
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
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