I just made out with a girl with a life jacket on wtf is going on
You tried feeding my python vodka through a funnel. Fuck off.
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
Can you explain the plethora of sunflower seeds in the dryer?
Up until today, I never would have thought I'd have to tell someone not to color on the cat
Plus my fingers were hella swollen from eating all these cured meats so it was like I was given it to her with Hulk Hands on
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
Pooled our money and rented a bouncy castle for the day. Get over here now. Bring vodka.
Dentist appt at 2pm get milk poured on my tits by 2am
A marvelous 12 hours
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
I will fuck anyone who brings me mcdonalds right now
Randomize
