So...we accidentally left a bag of puke in your sister's room. Heads up.
I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
I proposed and she said yes man.
You realize the irony of surrendering on independence day, right?
Did you know nanny-cams work just as well for recording that blow job on the sofa?
if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
Signed everyone in my dorm up for free samples of astroglyde. Took me an hour. Happy new years!!!!!
This weekend is gunna be a fucking shitshow. I don't even wanna know how many dicks will end up inside of me
I'd just like to inform all involved that walking into a liquor store holding a milk crate at the beginning of a night as stock ends badly
Am I the only one that feels like there are hundreds of tiny people having a rave and stomping and kicking around inside my head this morning?
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
I was about to share my drunken story from the weekend, but two friends getting married and one finding out she's pregnant makes Saturday in jail look a little suspect.
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
After 2 minutes he came and said, "thanks for everything". I can't wait to hear what he says next time when I do more than just lay there.
Randomize
