8th day he invented the big mac, 9th he invented pop rocks, 10th day boobs.
he shattered multiple jars of jelly against his roommates doors last night. this morning the asian one wouldn't even talk to him because he thought he was gonna get beaten up
i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
well most of my day revolves around power hour
i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
pretty sure if my vagina had a mouth, it would have been smiling afterwards.
If a video of someone that looks like me banging that chick on the hood of her car in some parking lot suddenly shows up on the web... let me know, I gotta see how that turned out.
im suggesting it to him. and by suggesting i mean we're not having sex again unless im wearing high heels
Okay hun. Well my neighbors haven't called the cops yet so I think we're good. No more burning in the yard.
Oh, that was the alley that I ate a pine cone in.
Let's FaceTime each other while we shotgun beers
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