Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
I called Tyra Banks a whore to her face. A sure sign I should go home. Instead I went to the gay bar.
Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
i dont remember who you are as you are in my phone as "mr. peanut."
Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
i told her that i loved her pillow breasts and then she asked me if i wanted to motor boat them. so yea, i do need the room tonite.
Thought I woke up to a girl giving me a handy. It was a male nurse inserting a catheter.
Whenever you feel bad about your life, just remember the time I tried to swim while high and thought for a minute I was genuinely drowning
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
Twice. I only peed my pants twice tonight.
I don't know which is worse, the fact that his name is Kevin or the fact that he has a pornstache.
He came on my face and he was genuinely concerned about getting it in my hair. I'm marrying him.
just realized we fucked to the ultimate disney playlist last night. hakuna matata.
I'm basically cruising around listening to 90's gangsta rap with my meatball sub telling people to go fuck themselves
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