i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
you were carrying around a glass of vodka telling everyone it was Russian water
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
I apologize in advance for attempting to drunkenly hookup with your sister
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
Step 1: chug a red bull vodka with no ice Step 2: chase that with a shot of wild turkey Step 3: chase that with a shot of tequila
Step 4: your drunk
do me a favor, I need this weekend off so can you work your magic and blow my boss again?
You start to question your party girl tendencies when you're wearing the same shirt you wore the night before to work and you're trying to get last nights Jell-O shot off the sleeve on your way to work
She is carving a little coffin out of some wood for her hamster that died. I'm flying home tonight.
Well, I'll handle this like I always do. Black the fuck out, make out with randoms, give out my number like candy. You know. Standard operating procedure
I just woke up and my ass is covered in honey and my eye brows are shaved off.
Two questions: Did you enjoy your birthday present and how did i wake up with glitter all over my dick?
Randomize
