Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
You called me twice to tell me that you spit in your own eye, when I was right next to you.
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
Birthday Coupon: This text is good for alteast 3 hours of Birthday Sex. Redeamable any time, anywhere, and any style.
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
I guess I just got drunk and ordered a mini fridge off the internet. At least now I know the 200$ that was missing from my checking account wasn't spent on lap dances only.
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
You insisted we put glow sticks on you so that we didn't lose you if you went pee in the dark.
Dunno why I keep hitting snooze. It's never gonna give me the kind of sleep I need to be sober.
Because you work where i will be drunk tonight I'm asking you. Is a shirt required on Halloween?
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
Well, I'm most mad that he lied to you (about being married)...but the CAT THING IS A CLOSE SECOND
I fucked a marine... I told him it was like personal revenge and he said he could live with that and that he didn't mind being used.
Randomize
