I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
At this point it has been so long i wouldnt know what a dick was if it slapped me in the face.
I remember your 21st ending with me driving you home while you insisted making bicycle signals out the car window.
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
I'm drunk in your building find me and we can have sex.
I just used "et al" in a sext. I thought you'd be proud
Try explaining "the nature of your relationship" to a cop when your fuck buddy vandalized your car. Priceless.
Stoned stonnnnnnned on the raaaaange
The struggle bus crashed, rolled down a mountain, and went on fire, and I was on it ugh.
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
My fuck buddy just proposed... Correct me if I'm wrong, but doesn't that completely defeat the purpose of FRIENDS with benefits?
Now you can be friends with Insurance Benefits.
I went looking for them and I pulled my pants down and peed on the lawn. I found my phone in the same spot in the morning.
Randomize
