Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
It was romantic. He brought over a bottle of Jack to celebrate us becoming official on Facebook. Definitely a story for the grandkids.
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
WHAT? When did I ever refer to one of my past hookups as "the rainforest guy"?
I have fireworks and redbull; let's make heart attack inducing magic happen.
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
So when I eventually, if ever, find someone I'd like to marry, do you think having people fly to africa for a lion king themed wedding is too much?
Relationships are fuckin' work. And you can't just up and leave with no questions when you really just need to get home because you're about to shit your pants.
You're so wise.
Just found my glass of wine on top of the litter box. Every argument ever is invalid.
Haha! You know I mean that in a positive way. Like, "let them eat cake!" Or in our case, "let them achieve obesity from the two entree plate at Panda Express!"
Just FYI, by the transitive property my breasts have now touched the Stanley Cup.
my roommate was being a bitch so I changed my Netflix password on her. 21st century slap in the face ladies and gentleman
I just poured two shots of fireball into my Rapunzel mug I love finals.
The guy in the room next to me just offered to hide the next dose of morphine he will get for his broken leg under his tongue and then swap it with me in exchange for a roll of the good toilet paper my parent brought for me last they visited. The psych ward is a lot more hardcore than I thought.
What do you do when you legitimately find a hidden sex dungeon in your parents basement next to your bedroom!!?
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