My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
Did you really just text me at 6:35 in the morning asking where the condoms were? I moved out a year ago.
He told me about how he pissed his pants last weekend like it was a normal part of conversation. Within 10 minutes I was going home with him. I think he put me under some kind of spell.
I just kept screaming "I'm fucking a preacher's son!" Also, this water tastes like weed.
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
Emoji's do wonders when you actually have nothing at all to say..
He deadlifted me and I came just a little at the apex
Too bad pet owners lack respect for my training in ancient Buddhist and holistic rehab therapies.
I'm not sure the Buddhist consider pot brownies holistic rehab therapy
Being single/not living at home sucks. All I want is someone I can force to pick up my pizza for me so I don't have to talk to anyone.
never stay at a party until 5am. even if it's because of daylight savings. we ended up having to watch porn with the host's dad...
well, shes hot as hell, but she does keep saying she's the president of the loch ness monster's fan club, so that's kinda a red flag...
there must be tiny pirates in the freezer stealing our rum.
Randomize
