i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
I think I need to stop sleeping with him. Sex with him is just a reminder of the mediocrity of the rest of my life.
She just said, "are my livers going to die?"
Put a customer on hold today while I threw up. If I don't get employee of the month, I'm suing.
Come to wine Wednesday bro. We have a fog machine
Dropping the entire last roll of TP into the toilet is a hurt you don't want to know.
correction: my vagina hates that I'm smart.
i was thinking shit as she was saying it. it was a sarcasm time loop
fuck you and your stupid hot as hell face
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
He said he didnt want to choke me, I said im sorry thats a deal breaker.
Please tell me I made it home with both shoes on
Nope
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
First day in a very long time I've done more pushups than bong rips
I drunkenly texted ur dad last night telling him he raised great kids hahahahaha
Randomize
