ok i'm going to motor boat your sister now. ttyl
I told him I was pregnant. Figured it would soften the blow of telling him I had herpes.
Did it?
Not as such, no.
i was like hansel and gretel. i puked a trail from mcdonalds to our place so i could find my way back in the morning
Pants on the Ground is the theme song of my life
Arguably, the best part was cockblocking those squirrels.
Burnt my ear trying to use the bathroom blow dryer as a telephone.
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
White people are beatboxing! Save me.
Witnessing a crazy lady on the bus screaming about how romney is one of the four horsemen of the apocalypse.
All hell broke loose. When the police showed up, this kid somehow haggled with a cop to let him pee in public. I'm convinced he could talk the panties off of a nun
He thought he was ordering for the whole party so when he came back with thirty burritos and four of us were left, he wasn't happy
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
Let's be honest, college orientation is going to be "here's how to drink everclear"
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