well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
you didnt know i had herpes?
Also just realized how inappropriate it looks to other drivers to finish bottles of cheap champagne at stoplights
He taught me how to drive a stick by using his dick. He even made the whurrrr noise so I knew when to change gears.
My therapist told me it was ok for me to "take risks" now. Cue the hookers and blow.
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
We found a swing set....it's in the front yard.
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
He told me to fuck off at some point in the night. I think it was right before he jumped out of a moving car trying to get to another bar and made Abby cry.
Blood and glitter go together right?
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
Odd start to the day - the FBI just showed up at my apartment.
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
Now swiping left on 23-year-olds with abs. Is this adulting?
Omg I joined a choir last night...
Randomize
