I cant help but love a girl who informs me of the pregnancy test results by emailing me a YouTube clip of Barney Stinsons not a fathers day speech.
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
arnt you supposed to become a mature adult when you move out of your parents house?
Moving out doesnt mean I'm mature, it means I can make pancakes and bacon at 3 in the morning and no one can judge me.
Just saw a rice crispy commercial and got emotional. I need to go home.
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
Business idea: assless chaps for toddlers. I'm high.
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
Slap a cop in the butt for a felony charge. Check.
She just kept roaring and saying Katy Perry had nothing on her. Wtf did she take?
So now I'm just going to brush my teeth, get high, and go to sleep. Like an adult
Dont you look at me in that tone of voice
Guess it's not a good idea to try lighting a cigarette with my stove drunk, I burnt off half my bangs.
Randomize