I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
If the pens lose tonight I'm gonna drive to Detroit and burn 8 mile to the ground.
Actually I may do that regardless. Probably get my own holiday.
Just got mistaken for a cardboard cutout ad in line at Taco Bell. New low?
after he passed out we removed everything electronic from his room, stuck in some old books and an ancient typewriter from goodwill. for 20 min. we had him convinced he'd drunk himself backward in time.
I just ran from Santa Claus in Kroger
I answered the my mom's phone call about what we're doing for father's day while he was still fucking me. She thought I seemed really excited about his hiking boots present.
All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
I woke up naked on the bathroom floor. the tile grout marks on my boobs hurt, i mananged to use a roll toilet paper as a pillow. never again. did we eat salad?
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
Don't mind me. My boyfriend is carrying me because I'm broken not because I'm drunk.
It's not even 9:30 yet..
NO SHITSVILLE I just saw a homeless dude punch a pigeon that flew by him
Hey, I'm probably about to be arrested but I didn't want to wake you. But it would be cool of you to get the $500.00 I have in the box I keep my "medicine" in and come bail me out. Also I figured you would be amused at the thought of me fending off brutal prison rape tonight.
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
He left a fire sauce packet from taco bell that said "promise you'll text me in the morning" on my nightstand.
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