Did u get laid? I went and bought lube and fleshlighted it while moaning ur name the whole time.
yah i'm on my way- is everything ok?
i'm holding a walmart bag of my own hot vomit that i closed up with some random chicks hair tie. we r pretty fucking far from ok
I rode on his Vespa around Florence and fucked him in an empty train. It was like a way sluttier version of Lizzy McGuire
Well it involved jumping two nine foot fences. But when you mix alcohol and persistence you can't lose.
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
Dude. Once again. Cleaning house. Found weed I hid from myself a month ago. Celebrating/testing it out. if i dont text back in 10, call dominos.
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
We don't have paper towels so I microwaved a spinach/egg sandwich thingy wrapped in toilet paper. Toilet paper. so that's how my day started.
Holy shit I'm 26! That took an embarrassingly long time to figure it out, I need to keep buyin weed from this kid
I cant go through life without knowing what ginger pubes actually look like
My New Years resolution is actually to be MORE petty
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
Just got my LSAT score...if you need me I'll be drunk in a ditch somewhere.
Listen, all I’m saying is, if you’re lying naked next to a hot chick, you don’t start discussing dental hygiene.
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