why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
What's the appropriateness of putting a 50 cent lyric in my gmas eulogy?
He left his umbrella behind in my bed to 'keep me company', then stole my front door key before he went to work
Just wanna let u know that we are almost on the pity blow job level of our friendship.
Porn. Physics. Porn. Icecream. Porn. That's my life now.
Jus saw ur date getting a bj in the mcdonalds parking lot...u want anything?
Wait. Wine + Crossbow..?
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
Someone had to wrestle her in the chocolate pool, I'm glad I was man enough to step up and do it
Lmao a dude who just got out of prison said im worth 10 cigarettes in prison...I think that's a compliment
So I sniffed too hard this morning before work and I THINK THE COCAINE JUST STARTED ROUND 2.
Randomize
