you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
Just because your phone has a case on it doesn't mean it will survive a 5 story drop out the window.
I wish I could put booze in boobs and store it for later. I wouldn't need a flask. For $7000, they should do amazing things like that.
I really thought you were going to tell me you were pregnant on facebook chat. FACEBOOK CHAT. I almost cried.
Tonight will be judged a success if I walk out without having thrown up on my shirt.
He told her hed rather go bobbing for apples in puke than have sex with her.
I smoked that joint really fast and now I'm so high I'm crawling around on all 4 giving my dogs piggie back rides pretending its the macy day parade for dogs and I'm their giant human float.
btw my ex came by last night and saw the pregnancy test intructions. awkwarrrrd.......
I don't remember how I broke my nose last night, but I woke up with dried blood everywhere. Also, you should tell that guy how you feel.
I wore my Gollum shirt. It struck up a conversation AND got him staring at my boobs. That's a win-win.
He dated a girl who could do the damn splits on his dick like how do you compete with that
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
Oh please. Preoccupy yourself with my penis.
Randomize