he was like Britney Spears in bed.. a little chubby and too medicated to perform.
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
how the hell did u puke all over the magazines... do u still want me to keep them
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
I just used an app to identify a song that was playing in the background of a porno. May god bless your soul steve jobs.
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
Apparently I told his new girlfriend to stop swallowing because she's getting fat. Oh, and I yelled this across a large room
You said that you were drinking out of a pan, and then went on to apologise to 'Jesus and all the other guys' for drinking on a Sunday.
FYI, Sammie and I made the executive decision that we're getting a pet octopus and keeping it in the ballpit. Just thought you should know.
Put an egg in my coffee filter this morning. I think I am still drunk.
I want to eat a stick of butter
Did your pain meds kick in?
It tastes nice
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
Drank vodka clubs for 6 hours last night. Holy shit just realized that.
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
Randomize
