i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
I wish I could tape me & him having sex. Not for pornographic reasons, just for comic relief.
If relationships were based on ego stroking and meaningless sex, we'd be soulmates
You remember that guy Joey? The pastors son that plays Jesus every year?
Yeah?
Stuck it in his pooper.
So you walked 4 miles to get home but stopped by the store first to get a vegetable tray? How drunk were you?
Correct me if I'm wrong but the photo album titles "cause I've been drankin" and "baby jessica" should not belong to the same person.
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
Nothing will ever prepare you for the moment when you are sitting on your friends bathroom floor with no pants on eating string cheese & pita at 2am.
At some point tonight the bad ideas in my head became bad decisions that happened outside my head
I also like to call Halloween "Mystery Fuck Day"
It's gonna be ok. As we grow older we sometimes lose sight of what's important to us. Like safe sex. And standards.
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
Naw man, if he's crazy enough to jerk off on a public bus he's too crazy for me to fuck with
dude girls our age are getting married and having babies and I still can't figure out how to defrost my hotpockets
Still not over the fact that we prayed to Jesus to help us win beer pong
Randomize
