Elton John & Lady Gaga just did a duet on the Grammies. How appropriate. He likes cock & she happens to have one.
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
Maybe if i steal enough bar glasses i can justify all the money spent i've spent there
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
Think I just saw your homeless guy on High Street. Did you give him back his crutch?
I feel like jumping into a breast pit right now. Like the old school ball pits at mcdonalds.
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
We got Pizza Hut & Papa Johns, delivered within seconds of each other, and both delivery people did a shot. I was put on Earth for this moment.
Did you hook up with him before or after he shaved off half of his eyebrow?
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
My concierge just asked me to his place for dinner while I was signing for a delivery. The delivery was a box of vibrators. Let's discuss.
Hahahaha yep. You were picking up the credit card machine and singing to it in Spanish.
You had sex with a Scottish dude with a peg leg....how could I NOT tell that story??
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
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