There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
My morning has consisted of lying in a fetal position, eating a whole tub of ben and jerry's, talking to my cat, and setting all of our pictures on fire. Does that answer your question?
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
I'm sorry. We set two Christmas trees on fire. Also the neighbor's yard. Also ours.
Alive...but barely. Had dinner with my parents tonight which was conveniently located near where i left my car, phone, and self respect
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
We designated a driver... But it was me..... So we designated another driver
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
Its 8 in the morning and I wouldn't pass a breathalyzer test, How's your day been?
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
Dude, some chick came over here earlier and thought my lube was hand sanitizer. She poured it all over her hands.
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
Randomize
