Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
imagine if the morning after your status automatically updated with the name of the person you hooked up with
Gentleman, we have a new medal category - number of women per day in apartment WITHOUT FURNITURE
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
ps if your frozen peas taste like crotch it's because some dude kicked me in the nuts while trying to do a keg stand and I needed an ice pack
By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner?
Make the kitchen floor stop waving. Im trying to lay on it
Nothing screams fatass like a pizza that doesn't fit in your car
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
I'm too socially awkward and sexually frustrated to get through this evening sober.
Everyone called me "Barf Vader".. And I lost your lightsaber.
Sometimes at I wake up from a dead sleep at 1am and call the bar just to hear the clink of the glasses and the pouring of the beer on tap in the backround
I heard a crunch while giving him head. I looked up and he was eating Cheese Itz. So we made a deal that he'd take a hand job so I could eat them too.
Randomize
