I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
So, after having sex with my 4th overweight girl in 2 weeks, I've decided Charlie Sheen syndrome is ruining my life.
his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
I can hear the condescending tone from the atm when it asks if $3 is all I would like to deposit
Listen. I'm a changed woman. I have no problem using him for sex.
Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy
She's licking the whiskey out of the carpet. I think we may be soulmates.
Saw two pregnant women at court today and I SWEAR one of them said "we had a threesome with this random guy and he got both of us pregnant."
I could have been on my second lucrative divorce by now, but nooooo, I had to be a strong independent woman.
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
Don’t say some truly stupid shit like that to me. In a kitchen. Where the knives are kept
God does not give you boobs that amazing to not share them with your friends
So how do I tell him I've been sleeping with his wife too?
Randomize