All I want to do right now is burp, puke, and fart. In that order.
I just walked in on my roommate beating off with no pants on, an unbuttoned hawaiian shirt and a cowboy hat, and he weights 300 pounds
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
We raised our shot glasses and you screamed out "TO MY DAD FINALLY GOING TO REHAB!"
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
I wish I could like. Pull my liver out, and put it in the corner of a boxing ring, put a towel and ice on it, rub it's shoulders, and tell it to "get back in there, you got this!".
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
Did I fall on/off the boat yesterday? Cuz my right leg looks and feels like if it got hit by shrapnel.
I had the most traumatic dream I've ever had just now. I ripped my dick off because a girl asked me to and spent the rest of the dream crying about my dick
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
He also ordered me a vibrator last week, so the flowers kind of balance it out
"We hooked up and in the morning he emailed me his mix tape"
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
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