so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
He sent me a video of himself jacking off. I am not kidding.
WTF??? Isn't he married??
Yeah but his wife is at a birthday party and I guess he's bored. LOL
I literally made his dick bleed. How the fuck do you think it went?
he saw my boobs and came all over himself... there goes my whole night.
I just threw up in my hands while sitting on the toilet
It took me 6months to figure out that he only had one testicle.
I can hear her blowing you man. All I hear is her saying 'yeah' over and over again.
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
You insisted we help some homeless guy put up posters for his missing pet alligator so we left you there because they were really just Chinese takeout menus.
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
HOW DO I ALWAS FIND THEM?! THERE WAS BE A SOCIETY OF SMALL PENISED MEN AND I MUST BELONG TO IT!
Ugh contemplating vodka and chocolate protein powder as this Capri sun and vodka isn't really cutting it
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
I just dropped a chicken nugget on the floor and seriously prayed that it would be ok....I think this job is making me crazy.
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