Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
I wish the holidays was like a drive thru. Get in. Get your presents. Get out.
All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
Why did I think it was so necessary to steal that rolling pin?
Ugh I just wanna make an announcement like: Attention high school classmates: if we haven't spoken in 5 years, we don't need to start now. Please be on your way
I've made a list of places I want to have sex this summer. #1: Reptile House at the zoo.
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
Took me 10 minutes of oral to finally get him hard for like 30 seconds of sex until he came and passed out. Def not worth the ROI.
Funny, 'cause his story is it went great. He faked passing out so he wouldn't have to do anything in return.
Ugh. I guess I'm crying loudly or something. My mom just came in and gave me milk, chocolate, a Xanax, and her weed "for the break up blues". Her ways of affection are so odd.
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
According to my Fitbit I was passed out in my car for 2 hours after she got us kicked out of the bar
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
Randomize
