Are you kidding me. My sex life has diminshed to having wet dreams about jerking off.
i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
yah i'm on my way- is everything ok?
i'm holding a walmart bag of my own hot vomit that i closed up with some random chicks hair tie. we r pretty fucking far from ok
then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that
I think I'm going to postpone my photo shoot until my Gpa dies. I don't want to be in lingerie and stripper heels when I finally get the call
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
when someone at the bar asked you a question all you knew how to say was "chug-a-lug"
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
Well you know it's going to be an interesting night when the bathroom attendant is doing hail marrys
In your alcohol circus, can my act be juggling men? Let's be real, I can juggle multiple dick buddies better than a professional
Damn it. Can't order pizza. Can't do the hot tub. No one to invite over for loud, kinky sex. What's the point of being here alone?!
OMG LOOK AT THAT PIECE OF MAN
I haven’t trained for this.
Of course he’s dumb. He’s got a 9 inch dick! There’s not enough blood in his body for a big dick and a big brain. It’s science
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