he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
birth control should be required to get into college
like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
You made a "martini" bagel. Took a bagel dunked it in vodka and put olives in it
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
As your attorney I advise you to rage rapidly
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
We are going to get high as balls and watch netflix
THIS IS WHAT BEING AN ADULT LOOKS LIKE
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
Whenever someone tells me they've never met a bisexual, I feel like a majestic fucking unicorn.
Accomplishment of the day: changing my tampon at 38,000 ft with turbulence. Fasten seatbelt sign was definitely on.
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
I just texted him from the other room to come have sex with me-stress relieved
You are such a millennial
Randomize