Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
you told the bartender not to open the bottle because you were gonna put it in your purse in case you get cut off later
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
he thanks me after handjobs.
you found the perfect man.
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
note to self: an IV pole is no substitute for a stripper pole. Written it on my ankle cast.
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
You know you're an adult when you break 100 to get 75 cents, to buy a condom from a bar vending machine in South Boston.
We ended up debating which Food Network host would do best in porn.
He rubbed my back afterwards. I forgot how to talk and I legitimately thought I was a cat for a few minutes.
It takes a special kind of man to fart REALLY loudly right before entering a woman and still get some. This has been a state of bootytown address.
So you can text and rub it at the same time? Bravo.
I can do anything and masturbate, if I truly wanted to.
Getting so old my power naps are turning into, "can I reasonably just go to bed at this time?"
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
Randomize
