Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
Little spoons don't ask big questions
i saw her thong sticking out from across the bar...that was my cue
as we were stuffing their 24 of beer into our bags you kept saying you wanted cheese strings. closest things we found were kraft singles. as the guys came up the stairs you kept screaming 'GET THE CHEESE! GET THE CHEESE!'
I finally got her to squirt but it wasnt a stream, it came out in the form of mist. I felt like I was in rainforest cafe.
he said I was the best sex he's ever had, handed me a burger king crown and told me to take my walk of shame with pride
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
He said he had a problem he needed to take care of before we got omelets and then showed me his erection.
I just want a sensitive guy who will get drunk with me then take me out to steal things. Is that too much to ask?
DOGS JUST TOTALLY ATE THE FEATHERS OFF MY NIPPLE CLAMPS!!!
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
So I woke up really sad and then I looked in the cabinet and there was weed and now I'm not sad anymore
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
Randomize