if you find a joe biden blowup doll in the attic, I call dibs
walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
i have this theory that all the people in the world who dont like mayonnaise had very bad encounter with jizz once
He just got home drunk. He ate 5 snack cakes, said Little Debbie's his bitch, went upstairs and fell asleep.
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
I hope my shame shaped pee stain outside your door goes away soon.
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
I feel like the devil slapped me in the face with his dick.
Birthday success
I saw your relationship status and wanted to write "Now you can fuck with some peace of mind that she isn't giving that other guy she met online a handjob."
I can't even masturbate without crying fuck this break up
Holy Hangover.. I'm marrying whoever put this water by my bed
Officially locked in my status as an indifferent millennial by downloading Tinder.
I just dropped a chicken nugget on the floor and seriously prayed that it would be ok....I think this job is making me crazy.
The viagra-rita was a sexual success and a furniture failure. He said it was the best cowgirl sex he’s ever had even with the broken couch
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
Randomize
