I wish I could teleport
you were carrying a trash bag around insisting it was your purse. I'll let you guess how your night went
Just hit on a fat chick so shed buy me a drink. Then i walked away. Nice to see how the other half lives.
Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
I have been sober for so long that I miss hangovers... what is happening to this summer?
I have 4 passes to the spa here, walking around with a robe on and putting cucumber slices on my penis. You guys should come hang out here. It's very relaxing
So, since you're now a four night stand, I feel comfortable asking: Did I leave my sunglasses at your house? Or my underwear?
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
Can vaginas get frostbite?
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
We got a standing ovation as security was escorting us out of the ballpark, it was a proud moment
he told me to take care of him and then he asked me to walk him to his hotel. I already have a pussy. I don't need another one
I literally wonder, frequently, "Will anyone ever fuck me until i go cross eyed for 2 hours again?''
My boss is paying me to come clean his house in a maid outfit and told me not to tell anyone....this is shady as fuck but I need the money
Randomize
