wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes
Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
There are no words to adequately express my gratitude for sending me porn you found staring a former classmate.
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
I love you more than champagne and correct grammar
I know. He gave me a hug and i was like jesus i can just feel the std through your sweatshirt
As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
I'm lying topless with an eye infection at the foot of my bed with a dog between my legs. With disney in the background. Its one of those 3 am moments
Apparently while trying to get up from vomiting in the toilet I grabbed the seat cover for leverage and smashed my own head between it and the bowl. I don't remember this.
I haven't had a normal poop since halloween, we are not mixing vodka and tequila ever again
RESPECT THE VODQUILA
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
Get over here asap there are three naked girls two bottles of whiskey and only one of me
Well. I think my red tank top is jinxed. this is now the second time it's gotten jizz on it.
And on the way out from Applebee's he tried to take the basket of toothpicks claiming he was using them as a tax write off. Last time I babysit my dad on thirsty Thursday.
I just thought you should know that you should be proud of your dick. It's pretty much perfect. Just, ya know, by the way.
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