woke up with 15 BAGS of hot dog buns in my passenger seat... jameson strikes again
Why is there a shirtless guy in Walgreens and why is he probably looking for the same thing I am?
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
I'm not having the "why are your fucking my daughter" talk and the "your a drug addict" talk with your mom tonight.
I just took three of the most beautiful hits of my life. As elegant and smooth and delicate and graceful as figure skating
I kinda got drunk and threw my debit card into a bonfire so I don't have any money at the moment lol.
He could only go see Deadpool without his girl if he was black-out drunk... because spoilers. They're the perfect couple.
They're gonna put "is a hoe" on my medical records
They made me leave the maternity ward, how do I get back in?
You were trying to be sexy by spraying your contact solution on your chest and telling me to lick it off
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
Randomize
