Scream out, "Tax-Free dick over here" in the bar. Ladies love tax free stuff
Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
I just foul balled at work. I had taken off my coat too… had to go to the sink wash my hands then go back to the stall and pick up my coat. I hope the guy shitting in the stall next to me didn’t figure out what happened.
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
Easy Mac is falling out of my sweatshirt as I'm walking down the street.
Plus my stomach has been speaking through my ass all day sending notes saying "fuck you" and "this is from your liver" or "i will kill you."
You know it's bad when I can already feel tomorrow's hangover before even drinking today.
She's not a foreskin expert like you
I just want my kids to know I fucked some really hot dudes before their father.
You're going to scar your kids
i feel like every weekend turns into a giant blur of i dont want to know...
He paid for a 5 star hotel suite and I raided the mini bar after he left. I think that’s bad karma. Want some pringles?
you're telling me you don't want to have sex 30,000 feet above the earth?
I feel like 20 angels jizzed in my mouth. This cupcake is DELICIOUS!
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