hah yeah. there was a kid puking in the bathroom and this idiot brings in a potted plant and was like "yeah he's like, not getting enough oxygen"
As I was going down on her I noticed she had a tatoo on her inner thigh that said "Eat it like your birthday cake".
He grabbed every salt shaker in the apartment and we haven't seen him since. He really really doesn't want to shovel snow anymore.
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
I'm on acid right now in three feet of snow. I NEEEED YOOOOUUUU
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
Fuck you, if it wasn't for us going to the city, she would be using me as a human sex toy all day.
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
Also, do you have any insight as to WHY I have a note saved from the 17th of June that reads *clears throat*, "you got that swanky blues libido"
Not sure, she said after cussing out the dentist they called security. Make that the first person I know 86'ed by a dentist.
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
On a scale of 1 to shit show you were "i just pissed myself"
Randomize
