I swear I am going to pee, wipe my vag with my hand, and then slap you in the face with it.
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
I just ate a bag of doritos while taking a shower. I can now officially do anything
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
I am drinking green tea.... My liver is in shock
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
The worst part about living in a small town is partying with your pharmacist and then having to buy Plan B from him the next morning.
I just remembered I did the whole byebyebye dance at the bar
you know that australian accents are like the bat signal to my vagina
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
OMFG. JUST WALKED IN ON A DUDE JERKING IT IN THE MCDONALDS BATHROOM
Stall or urinal?
we're so committed to being not committed
The dog peed on the neighbors baby Jesus. No wonder she thinks we're the devil.
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