I think i peed on brittanys purse
woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
Bisexual people are plain selfish.
don't tell her this, but while we were doing it doggy style I picked up my phone and changed my status to "who let the dogs out"
so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
Dude I thought this was going to suck, but moving back in with my dad is like being at a frat party every night only everyone is 40 years old.
My TA just asked me why I was late to class. How do I say because I was having the best orgasm of my life in Arabic?
Welp, she's chewing our paper towels again. She's like an obnoxiously hot puppy
Someone is gonna learn how to start an IV in the morning
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
Yeah except my drinking partners aka my parents went to sleep Cuz ya know, they're old.
But now I'm just thinking when he said he "worked for the airline" he actually meant drug smuggling.
Come eat Chinese buffet and watch us trip on acid. It'll be fun.
I just bought condoms and a potted plant, making for a top ten super weird and awkward purchase.
Randomize