is it bad that i shorted Freddie Mac immediatly after I heard about the CFO?
I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
Peed in a church parking lot last night. As if Jesus didnt hate me enough already.
I hijacked a bellboy cart and rolled into the party dancing on it
He puked, did more shots, and then pissed in a drawer. We thought it was bad enough and all of a sudden...boom-clothes come off and he passes out with slippers and a styrofoam hat on and a guitar hero guitar in hand pretending he was slash.
I'm not sure which is more depressing, the fact that the hospital is making me put together a living will before surgery, or that all i'll be leaving behind is 25k in student loan debt
Kurt said to text you and encourage you to come out tonight. Encourage you with my rack.
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
Yelling at the starbucks lady to write Beyoncé on my cup
I. recorded a message of me yelling at myself to "get up out of that bed" and set it an alarm. REALLY loud
I told her I was going to sleep early last night. I probably should not have sent that snapchat of us playing beer pong.
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
I took a 19 year old to a strip club and ended up in a three way. Divorced life might be OK.
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
I dipped out before he woke up, but I made sure to take the pizza with me.
Randomize
