he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
please stop referring to my baby as "your little fucker"
just hooked up with an air force officer in a hotel room paid for by the military. i feel like i should go around thanking taxpayers for the assist.
i almost hope i AM knocked up so i can ruin the rest of his life
Divorce is final. Doing tequila shots at 1 in the afternoon.
Hey couldn't find water bottle to put margs in whole bottle in purse gonna stop and get cups and ice from starbucks and burrito from una mas want a quesadilla
you kept introducing yourself to guys as "never going to happen"
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
And now I'm drinking leftover wine in the grad lounge because fuck my life
Okay hun. Well my neighbors haven't called the cops yet so I think we're good. No more burning in the yard.
apparently, dueling with garden tools in Home Depot is strictly frowned upon
You called me a pussy and continued to eat an entire jar of peanut butter with only your hand.
I can feel my teeth in 4 dimensions. I shouldnt be this high at 8 in the morning.
Matt's offering to breast feed it.
I just found those cheese sticks in my purse. Along with a handful of confetti.
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