Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
I am one bad relationship away from having 30 cats.
cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
when I woke up I found a half-eaten cherry toaster strudel sandwich with bacon in the middle.
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
remember, YOU ARE A WINNER
my dinner was a box of cheezits simultaneously mixed in with cocoa puffs and fried rice.
Went to 3 separate liquor stores today and I just made a huge tray of jello shots. This will be the Thanksgiving that puts all the others to shame.
I may have just flashed my roommate as he walked in while my towel was falling. Now he knows what an American sized penis looks like I suppose
My liver hurts and I just woke up from my first sleep in two days
Sounds like the perfect vacation
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
The fact that he said "there's nothing wrong with being a raging drunk, just ask my mother." has me thinking that I have no positive role-models among my friends.
Like an undercooked grilled cheese that got cold again. But hairy.
And there goes my desire for sandwiches. Forever.
can we take a moment to remember my theory on 'your tongue is a snake that lives in your mouth' because we reached a whole new level of high
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
We had everything under control until this one jackass fucked up. Thanks, Peter.
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