I miss you like a fat girl misses the prom.
Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
you told me your penis was albino and it couldnt be exposed to light so you needed to keep it in me
yeah, and then after the convo was clearly over, my dad decides to scream "SIZE MATTERS" just to make things even more uncomfortable.
I just can't bring boyfriends home.
When sleeping with someone new: should you hide the magnum condoms, or let him know what he has to live up to?
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
I think we should have realized the night was going to be nuts when it started with a bum dying in front of my house.
Yeah... I still gave her a hug because I felt really bad though. I mentioned that my boyfriends grandma just died too, just to reinforce that I'm straight afterwards.
I sincerely thought making it to McDonalds by 10:00am was a shoe-in but it appears that I need to adjust my zoom when looking at the map before walking to places.
I just had the most intense bikini wax of my life, i felt like i needed guardrails
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
all the one night stand stories i have end with me crying on my RA's floor stuffing cupcakes into my mouth
All the doctor said was why
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
Randomize
