I'll have you know...trying to masturbate while a song about jesus is stuck in your head is next to impossible
Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
Wow, being the totally hot and slutty looking 30 year old lady on the dance floor does NOT necessarily mean that she has skills in bed.
Is it weird if I ask my drug dealer to prom? Be honest.
I just met his wife...she told me they have been having marriage problems and are spending his paychecks on marriage counseling...then she cried on my shoulder...NOW i feel like a bitch.
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
Seriously, I want to give you a plaque thanking you for your dedicated service to my vagina.
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
I hope your fat roommate breaks the bunkbed and crushes you in your sleep
Scary truckers and hobos. These are the men I attract
The bottle of Jameson may have been a bit aggressive for a Sunday cookout.
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
I will pay you in sex, beer and popcorn if you will come fold my clothes for me.
Add free use of your panini press and its a deal.
Deal.
He eats ass but won’t hold open doors. My kinda guy.
Chivalry really is dead.
Randomize
