Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
And God said, "Let there be Twilight," and it was so.
I should injure you considerably.
Alright this has to stop. Without adderall I don't even have the motivation to get laid. College has ruined me.
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
when the police officer said he was gonna take a picture of the car accident, you asked if you should pose on the hood
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
He kept telling me that something was trying to enter this dimension from another universe through his spine...
true friends will drive 3 hours to come smoke a couple blunts with you on the bridge where your car broke down
he was inside of, then got up said "we don't want you having a baby," grabbed his car keys and left. so now i'm just sitting on his bed, wondering if he's coming back.
I'm so high I would give anything in the world to be inside my lava lamp right now
You threw a shot glass at the bartender and still managed to convince him to let us drink more. You are my hero.
Did I turn a man straight...??
Yes!
He kept saying "Ayyyyyyy" during foreplay... during sex.... during everything! It felt like I was having sex with friggin Fonzie from Happy Days!
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
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