i was focused on more important things... like standing, and not spilling my beer
Reason 37 booty call break ups suck: I literally could not find his house in the daytime.
So the chick throws up over the rail from the 15th floor at the sky bar and I knew I would take her back to my hotel.
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
I'm with the hottest fuckin fire fighter right now. I'm ready to fake my own death.
I just want to have normal problems like what kind of puppy to get, or should I pay a hooker to fuck Scott, or even a dilemma about fucking Twizzlers. I don't know.
Also one of my neighbors is blasting "pumped up kicks" and possibly butchering some chickens
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
Just saw our highschool guidance counselor at the bar and he's taken six shots in the last hour. Those teenagers have fucking hardened him.
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
my penis made a compromise with my morals
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
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