If I see one more commercial for The Secret Life of the American Teenager, I'm going to punch the next teenage girl I see in the uterus and scream, "Wear a condom!"
I just had human shit waiting for me at the top of the escalator at Bowery. This is truly the Lord's day.
May the Lord look upon you in favor and give you pees.
I wish you wouldn't refer to your breast milk as "ammunition"
Oh i know my limit. 9 shots after i've given blood.
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
You said you couldnt get the condom on but "its the thought that counts"
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
Love me.
GO THE FUCK TO BED IT'S 3AM I AM NOT TAKING YOU TO MCDONALDS.
Just for one nugget?
And then she said "wanna make a vine of me twerking on the wall?"
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
I'm in the ER bruh, I went skinny dipping last night and a cat fish bit my dick.
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
i woke up in a bed of pop tarts
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
My ultimate hope is that people will hug me, smell me, and therefore think I'm classy.
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