it feels like theres a golf ball between my legs. the sex was totally worth it tho.
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
I just walked by that girl who tried to commit suicide over me in high school. That was weird.
I would do laundry with you but I vaguely remember swallowing all my quarters last night as some kind of trick.
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
Wise words from the guy who drunkenly chipped his teeth on the sidewalk
Crosswalk actually
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
No no no no no no.... That's my emergency bottle for when I realize I've hit rock bottom
The acoustics in my bra are fantastic.
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
You're a waste of cheezeits
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
Tip of the day: Don't Amazon vibrators when your WHOLE FAMILY uses your prime account. There's dildo after dildo showing up in my "Related to Items You've Viewed" category on the home page.
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
Please stop telling my mom she doesn't have nipples when she's been drinking. You know shell show you. Forcefully.
Randomize
