I went out, and slept with my sunglasses on
And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
Literally he has the smallest penis I've ever felt since 8th grade.
today is the best snowday of my entire life. also its no shirt day.
How was the bike ride?
Nope. High in the basement. Fruit cups.
I told him i wanted to be exclusively cheating with him
I'm gonna have to flying elbow somebody tonight in memory of Macho Man
And by hung out you mean you were in my bed for 5 minutes while your penis was in my mouth.
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
like honestly, the vodka had to go somewhere, and your moms soap dispenser just seemed right at the time..
We're just starting to open presents and I already need a shot. This is gonna be a long Christmas day.
Randomize
