I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
The girl behind me at the dollar store said couldn't wait to get her permit, then requested a pregnancy test. God I love being home.
are you just going to ignore any texts involving my penis from now on? because thats going to shut down a pretty sizeable portion of our conversations.
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
i just saw the eighteen different ways i could die and only after that did i realize i'd made a poor decision
When I like her vacation photos, it really means "Im sleeping with your boyfriend." wonder if she will make the connection.
Just had a tv talk show interview in my mirror. Got into to some pretty heavy shit man, would have made good viewing.
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
to improve your porn experience, just imagine a slow speaking older English man narrating it all like a Nature documentary
Dude. I've never been with a guy who just wanted to go down on me all the time including while I'm shooting zombies on call of duty. My life is complete.
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
She makes margaritas with lemon-lime 5 hour energy..thats brilliant
and you were wondering how she got into Harvard
He came home at 2 AM on roller skates with his hair dyed pink while singing "Sweet Transvestite" and throwing glitter on all of us and everything we own. We had to call a cleaning guy.
Who died my cat blue again?
Yeah I passed out. The last thing I remember is the lady telling me I couldn't play the clarinet with my nose.
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