I think I'm going to be in trouble for sneaking out last night. My Dad saw me drive up this morning when he was leaving early for work.
What'd you say?
I told him I was sleep driving
There's a sucker born every minute but swallowers are harder to find.
So glad I found your sister.
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
I knew it was going to be a good night when i heard another girl call his dick "Thor's Hammer"
he just asked me for a tag team. like at least let me get changed out of your roommates clothes from last night first...
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
I sent him an 18 page sext. He's going to have a good morning.
I'm eating cake, naked, in bed. I am GREAT at being single.
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
Me and mom just bonded over our mutual desire to bang Mark Ruffalo. I'm not sure how to feel about this.
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
This is a long quiet interstate without somebody to sext.
Went upstairs to make PopTarts, found the door open. Shut it. Saw a grey thing. Opened the door, found a girl sleeping outside. What the fuck happened last nigh
In other news, I’ve officially fucked a grandpa.
dude I fucking saw you snort tequila
Randomize
