I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
matt and i tucked you in... you REFUSED to move your head from under the bed.
I keep telling girls I work at the carnival and then guessing their weights. I'm pretty sure I'm about to get kicked out.
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
he kept opening the car door while we were ON THE HIGHWAY and insisting he could walk. next time i drive my boss home at 3am i'm putting the child lock on
Naked snow angels was a very bad idea. My vag is now frozen shut.
I thought i didnt really feel whatever i snorted last night until i just realized i think i asked this dude to punch me fight club style
Dude. She was wearing nothing but Wonder Woman panties and a flag for a cape and sneaking around leaving PBR's by passed out people for the morning. She called herself the 'Merica Fairy.
Why haven't you proposed already?
Don't judge me 👊🏼 his dick just whispers my name
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
I just saw your brother in some random persons yard climbing a tree. Just saying.
Probably on drugs.
So, were you planning on telling me you left your panties in my glovebox??
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
If I don't wake up tomorrow you inherit my paycheck and can only spend it at cinnabon
Randomize
