i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
Your friends ate a hole through an entire loaf of bread
please remember that your boobs are bigger than your sisters. when you borrow her shirts they stretch and then shes left flapping in the breeze. dont borrow her clothes anymore. love dad.
You were spitting chewed up pretzle into my hands telling me to hold it for you.
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
disregard all texts ive sent you minus taco motherfucking bell
I'm babysitting my fucking roommate he took out the screen and is trying to throw dishware in our fucking pool after he repelled off our balcony
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
I mean you guys are my friends and all but if you fuck with me I will not hesitate to set you on fire
I'm mortified. After he finished, he turned to me and said,"So, what did you think of my mom?" WTF Please tell me he was not wondering about that while he was going down on me!!!
I might be the strongest willed bouncer ever. Earlier tonight a girl flashed me trying to get in. I just replied "Sorry I'm gay", she believed me and left.
can we take a moment to remember my theory on 'your tongue is a snake that lives in your mouth' because we reached a whole new level of high
I have already put on my inside pants.
He is married, and has a regrettably large penis. I need to find another one right away to get myself out of this mess.
How big does a penis have to be before it becomes regrettably so?
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