Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
woke up in nothing but a glued-on tiger tail. they used super glue.
I'm not sure what happened last night, but I have someone stored in my phone as 'Aftershock'
he put a lighter in my cleavage and said "you're like another pocket!"
He kept spanking me and talking about biomedical science.
Aw, you fucked a pre-med? you're moving up in the world!
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
Why is there blood and lettuce everywhere?
Meeting relatives from another state drenched in tequila and smelling of weed. I'm gonna kill you for soaking the only bra I brought in Jose Cuervo Gold.
I think I was using my hair to catch my vomit last night.
You were.
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
Repeat. Dildo on the ceiling, confiscated potato shooter, and bottle of yegger. Repeat. Ceiling dildo and yegger.
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
I can now say I know getting hit in the face with a flying tortilla is not fun
Randomize
