I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
why im i the only drunk person in the library?
I am so high I am beginning to unironically like Vanessa Carlton.
Nick just found a baggie of 3 year old shrooms in his desk drawer and downed it all with cheap white wine. I am not on vomit duty tonight.
I did the walk of shame to church this morning.
hooker boots and all?
Yep. People looked at me like I was the prodigal daughter returning home. Full of sins but welcome anyway.
I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
So can you tell me who's underwear is on the cat?
my brother walked in while we were fucking, silently took my bong from my closet, saluted us and walked out.
I was masturbating in my bed this morning when my ipod alarm went off and it started playing "show me the meaning of being lonely"
Def just threw up beer then brushed my teeth with some randos toothpaste now back to drinkin beer
Well when I got home you were sitting at the table eating cold, leftover taco meat. I'd say you were pretty far gone by that time.
Some guy walking down the sidewalk just looked at me and said "hey it's the world champ". How drunk was I on Friday...?
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
Mandatory face masks - finally, a solution for lip augmentation failures and bad breath.
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