if reincarnation is for serious, i better be a guy in my next life
with a huge shlong
massive. i wanna make bitches cry
...you put a chicken patty in my toaster last night..
THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
not saying it was a bad idea to throw an impromptu party but someone stole the microwave
We can see it once so I can see the whole movie, then I'll go see it with him so I know when the boring parts are and I can have sex with him during those parts
so when our kids ask "when did you know you loved mommy?" you're gonna say "when she sent me emoticons about slobbing on my knob?"
And also the fact that I woke up sandwiched between two gay men is probably fueling my day
Yeah you were fine except for when you peed under the bar
The last thing I need is a possessed urethra.
The cops high fived after they tackled you
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
Just passed a girl holding a jar filled with what appeared to be diarrhea
Just convinced the cute guy from class that I have prostate cancer. GET ME OUT OF THIS TOWN!
Randomize
