Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
final count. 18 beers. 4 shots baileys. 2 shots vodka. 1 glass champagne. vomited in the yard after losing my phone in a field for 8 hours. Possibly played tag with myself
I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
I had to go to the front counter of the restaurant and ask for the key because I was "pretty sure my friend is passed out in the bathroom right now"
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
would you say our friendship is at the "help each other shave animal patterns in each other's pubes" phase?
Girl at work pointed out that the blood vessels around my eyes were all popped and I smell like puke
Dude. I might have just seen some porn i wasnt ready to see. The chicks were so old.
But college guys get to crossfade so there's that
No idea what that is
Like getting bent? When you drink and smoke together...
I'm 30 stop using your cool kids words
LET US USE OUR GENITALS TO CELEBRATE THIS VICTORY
Operation terrify all men while simultaneously make them fall in love with me is going quite swimmingly so far
I swear if you laugh while im moaning i will immediately stop and go home.
I'm still mad from all the stupid shit he's done this week that even though I couldn't give two shits about Vday, I'm gonna throw an epic tantrum if he doesn't morph in to Nickolas Sparks for a day
if he becomes president of the united states, I will tell EVERYONE that i took his virginity.
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