Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
no one should ever give us hovercrafts
I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
Meanwhile I am sitting on the couch with a 32 ounce rum and coke trying to decide if I'm too drunk to go get french fries.
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
Was so drunk I had to masturbate face up cuz I thought I was gonna be suffocated by the pillows.
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
You know you're high when, "Why can't I steal the duck?!" Becomes a serious question.
I said no to friends with benefits because it was too much commitment
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
Kid walks in and orders 24 Mcdoubles and 14 large fries, as he's handing me the money he tells me he lost at rock paper scissors so he had to do the munchie run.
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
Randomize
